Vampire films suck

Dam you bloody Twilight. Far from being a good film, you’ve also started an insane craze for stupid vampire films and television programmes. I have no idea why it’s happened - maybe it’s because people saw Twilight and thought, “gee this is crap, I could do so much better if I made a vampire film.” I see their point about it being crap, but surely that should mean it should have just followed Gigli and Epic Movie and quietly disappeared into the embarrassingly bad film mist. But no, I’m never that lucky. Instead, the film was a huge success (for some weird reason) and now everybody wants to get in on the vampire scene. Blood: The Last Vampire, Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant, and of course the second Twilight film, New Moon. Even teenage comedy Jennifer’s Body. Just a few of the vampire films that 2009 brought us. And that’s not including any of the television programmes either. Let’s see...True Blood, Being Human and new series The Vampire Diaries are among the many. I thought that this latest series might be the end of it all, but I thought wrong. Coming this year are the films Let Me In and, only in the pipeline at the moment, Dracula: Year Zero, in which Avatar’s Sam Worthington has been rumoured to star. After the major success of Avatar, let’s hope he makes the right decision. We all know what an amazing debut but bad second film can do to an actor. Alicia Silverstone comes to mind - Clueless was a big hit and then came The Babysitter (I hadn’t heard of it before either) and now where is she these days?! Anyway, point is, vampire films are getting boring now and if this carries on for much longer I might start hoping one will come and eat me.

3D – dumb, daft and dear.

Ok, so at first this whole 3D thing was wonderful – a new way to make the aged cinema experience exciting once again. And not that it didn’t do that, it also did a couple of other things too. Firstly, it bumped up the price of a cinema ticket in two ways. It gave the cinemas an excuse to charge more for the special screens and equipment whilst adding pennies for the use of those oh-so-flattering 3D glasses. Then, it meant everybody had to wear these glasses. Annoyingly big and unsightly, the glasses don’t exactly scream stylish. Obviously, this might only be an issue for those silly enough to choose a 3D film as a good place to take a date. But then again if you’re lucky enough to be able to pull off the glasses, surely you’re a keeper. But it’s not just how they look, it’s how they itch. And man, that’s one big headache afterwards.
And god knows how people with actual glasses are managing.
Then there’s the problem of watching it when it comes out on DVD. I recently bought My Bloody Valentine on DVD. It did come with 3D glasses – but the flimsy paper ones that were used when they first brought 3D films out. I was really looking forward to seeing it in 3D because I remembered watching it at the cinema and being impressed with sharp axes and bloody body parts flying out at me. That’s why I bought the DVD – because I mistakenly thought I could watch a 3D film at home. Unfortunately I was wrong. The glasses gave me a headache and it was difficult to watch with them on, the lighting was all weird. The only good thing about the DVD was that it had the non-3D version on the other side of the CD, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to watch my own DVD.
I just don’t know if 3D films are worth the extra hassle.